His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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