the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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