am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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