Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
