Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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