I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
