what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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