maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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