I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
