Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This baby is an asshole
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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