I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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