Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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