I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
