you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize