Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
