I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
COCAINE IS GR8
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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