Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
