Cold hands, warm shart.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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