you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
