Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
