just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
