i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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