Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
