How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
