I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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