is your mom at the bar?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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