i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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