fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
