You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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