Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
