she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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