Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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