guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
