We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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