You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
