If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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