the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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