Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
