i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
