my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
