Michael Bay diarrhea
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
