I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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