If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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