Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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