Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize