Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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