So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize