You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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