I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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