if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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