seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
