It's Friday. Sex?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
