I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
