i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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