Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
