We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize