Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
