Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I need to calm my uterus...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
