Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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