he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
