that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
