haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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