ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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