Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize