Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When are your genitals available?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
